Finally I found the ENERGY that I am longing for...

This is the feeling that I was seeking for..Thank you!

ONE error ONE decision NEW environment

2010, a very important year to remember in my life. This is the year that I made most mistakes in my life. The mistake make me used up all my options and fall back to the ground. I do not know what is my future and how am I going to face my family but I know going back is my last resort. I know that I have not had enough of UK, but UK is consuming me. I am no longer myself who first came to UK 2 years ago.

I need to cleanse my mind but I am not sure Malaysia is the right place for me. I pray that everything will be fine and they can forgive me and trust me as they did before.

This is literally the turning point of my life. I have grown up, I need to be very careful in every step I take, because a slight mistake will really have very serious consequences.

I wish myself best of lucks! finger cross

Discipline needed? but i feel comfortable

Feeling despair of my ULTRA CLEAN landlord lady...When you think you already do your best to keep clean and still hearing complaints, this is so helpless except saying " I will keep it cleaner next time"

Maybe I have not been trained to be a really clean and tidy person, as long as it is not too messy that's fine. Also maybe there was KAKAK helping me to tidy so I was spoiled. Help, i am so emotionally stressed up. Need to make sure no marks on the table top, no pot or cover on the table, must clean and dry the dishes after wash, must mop the floor (sweep is not enough), must spray the toilet shower screen every time after shower, must not sleep with light on...omg..Help, at this point I just miss home so much!

sometimes I really doubt at my own attitude. Why am I so careless, I thought that I have checked, double checked, triple checked?? Why errors still occur? I do not know what do I want. I thought that I am capable but when I ask myself what can you do and how can you success, I cant think of a definite answer.

4 years ago I came to pharmacy, actually I did not seriously thought of it before deciding the course. It is not bad, stable income, stable job. But But But...where is my PASSION? Enthusiasm??? What if I went into Mass Communication 4 years back? I always dream myself to be an artist, and when I was in high school my friends told me that I will be an outstanding artist. hahahaha...I wish I could. My creativity, speaking skill, and acting skill seem to have buried in my way to pharmacy.

I remember my psychology teacher gave me a career test, said I could go to the advertising line, public relation or similar area. Months later after I entered the university I went back to visit her telling her that I have chosen pharmacy, then she said I need to work harder because it is tough for my personality. I told her, I think we can train ourselves to like something. Eventually I feel that yes, you can adapt but that is not you, your potential is not there thus it is a lot difficult to see you glowing with success in that area.

I believe that studying a degree is not so much about the knowledge, yes you gain the basic knowledge but you will forget. One thing it definitely does is it TRANSFORM you to be a member with the quality needed for that profession, while you may loose your original quality......

tired, need a break for right direction

This is the 6th week of my pre reg, actually I did not find myself learning alot except from dispensing.

Why have I chosen pharmacy and do I really like being a pharmacist?

I feel that UK is not the place for me and there is a call for going home. Therefore I am considering of going back to my hometown and seek for the meaning of life that I am pursuing.

Money is like the Air

I heard a story from a rich man and that was about how he looked at his life. He symbolized money to the air. He said that actually the amount of money one can use is like the amount of air that one is able to breath in, which makes sense because we will not be able to breath in more air even though there is more air available.

This is what coherent to my current philosophy of life. For very long time, I knew the importance of money because it is like the air, we cant live without it. Until recently I started to realize that how you spend your money is actually more important than counting how much you have. I like to share the happiness that can be generated from money with my friends or with the people around me. For example by inviting friends for a meal or something. That creates the opportunity for you to get along with them, share information and to communicate. Every relationship requires opportunity to be nourished and money can provide the opportunity.

This reminds me of the saying 'give and take'. To offer and to give what I can to my love one, my family and friends are what I feel like doing now because I like the taste of joy from giving and I believe that I will be able to gain what is far more valuable, such as friendship and harmony. If there wasn't anybody giving and I wouldn't be what I am today, so there is enough of taking from others and it is time for contribution.

Hello there, let's start to practice generosity. I assure you that you will gain alot more than being self-centered.

Under construction

Hi everyone if there is any, this is just a notice of information about reconstruction of the blog. perhaps it will appear again with a totally different outlook. Merry Christmas!!

feeling unwell

It has been such a long time that I didn't come to my blog.

Nottingham has started to get colder by each day, especially colder when I sat down in front of my study table for some times. The coldness had recently weaken my body immune system. I feel so sick now with nasal fluid streaming down like an open tap.

Actually being sick physically is still bearable. What I feel hard and helpless is the love sick. Why do we have to separate again by the geography and time zone? I am really unready for it at all. It is just 1 month after we apart but I have felt it so unbearable. I miss you bie. I want to go back to be with you! Ironically I cant! due to the restrictive bond to my study..

Bie I really miss you so much! so much! I don't want the life of saying good night to you when my side is still early evening; nor spending lonely nights that I cant contact you at all on my own (because you are sleeping).

I really cant imagine what will things be after all... Can we survive through the challenge again?

What will be filled in our 'memory break'?

I love you bie...